Okay...yeah...I lost a bet. But I have a perfectly reasonable excuse. That's right- I was duped! Because here's how it played out. I was chillaxin in my bed while Alanna was very busy organizing food and searching for Christmas decorations in the garage. She will argue this with me- but she fell over while reaching for a box of blinky lights. She did. She tipped right over. But she denies it and claims some heroic act of grabbing cat litter boxes kept her from actually touching the floor. Whatever. This of course made me laugh. I find it absolutely hilarious that you humans have no sense of balance whatsoever. It's true- I can see why you stay out of trees.
Any hoo- turns out humans are super sensitive about this point and when I laughed it really set Alanna off. Right away she brings up the whole "so?- you got no thumbs, Skunk!" Like that even matters in this discussion. Dudes, it's not relevant- at all. Well one thing led to another and the next thing you know we got into this "proving our evolutionary accomplishments" contest.
First up was a foot race. Four paws to two I had her beat at the tweet of the starter's whistle. I'm that fast- oh yeah. And I really dig the sound of a tweet. It motivates me.
Next we sat at our respective desks and raced words per minute. As a professional blogger, I felt strong going into the battle. And for a laid back guy, I really am a fast typer. Unfortunately, I ended up shocked. I knew Alanna did some office work sometimes but I had no idea how much practice she had pounding on the keyboard. But whoa- she totally dusted me.
That left us tied at one evolutionary accomplishment a piece. So we spitballed ideas for the tie breaker. It was not easy to agree on a fair test. She said swim a mile. I said jump off the garage roof. It went back and forth awhile. And then she blurted out, "I know- a sit up contest!" I was immediately interested. I had heard of sit ups before and knew dogs were famous for them. And yo, if a dog can sit up once then a cat can sit up way more times- and with more style. I was in!
So it's possible that you've already figured out where I went wrong. Yeah. Not that kind of sit up. I only had to see her do one to know I had been hosed. There's no way I would have agreed to do that. Next thing I know, this holly-jolly get-up is picked out of a box and becomes my holiday blog suit. Oh the evil little sense of humor that Alanna has. But if there's one fact that we cats prove holiday after holiday it's this- you can dress us up in antlers and hats and silly red noses but you can not break the spirit of the dignified cat!
So what crazy get-ups are your cats humoring you and wearing this holiday season?
Four Paws in Peace