Thursday, December 18, 2014

Hi ho ho ho!!! Skunk the Cat here and I just got back from lunch with Alanna. That’s right- this kitty’s been known to chow down on a cheeseburger or two. But I will admit that at first there was some miscommunication and I had thought she asked, “Hey Skunk wanna grab a tweet burger?” And there I was - ready to give her all kinds of credit for having the pre-neuters to call a chicken patty what it really is. But as you may have guessed, no, that’s not what she meant.

Anyhoo- as we all know, the holidays are here and with them come some of the best customs a human can participate in. I mean, the total reconstruction of the outdoors in a couch room has got to be the coolest thing since catnip got shaped into a ball. But since Alanna can’t get through a social engagement without pointing out a behavior or two of mine that she thinks is ridiculous I now need to share these cat safety tips (yes I lost another bet and no I don’t want to talk about it). 

So here are the arguments we had this time while we waited for our server to figure out that of course a cat would want a window seat in the restaurant. 

You gotta make sure you secure the tree.  First of all, let me just say thank you for the wonderful treat that is a tree. You bring all that fresh air goodness indoors, you make sure all those pesky monsters that Alanna is always going on about are shaken out of it and you leave it alone for the best hours of the day- nighttime!!! What is not to love? But here’s the thing. A tree’s gotta be green and cat’s gotta climb. And we are just so darn good at it. Have you seen how fast we can go floor to ceiling. It’s paw-inspiring! But it can also be a pretty dramatic moment when we realize the flaws of a tree stand compared to a solid root system. TV’s, lamps, small children- none of it’s safe when we answer that age old question “when a tree falls in the couch room, if no one’s there to hear it, does it still destroy everything in its path?” Survey says, “Oh yeah.”

Only put unbreakable/digestible ornaments within paws reach. I’ll never forget the grandiose sight that was my first tree. I mean, who could?  It was like Santa had come four weeks early and plopped a fully stocked cat toy right in front of my face. And not only was everything bright and shiny but it was all strung and swung with tiny hooks and strings- Shazam! But it’s all fun and games until someone’s got broken glass shards in their paw or garland coming out southern ports. Now that is a shame a cat should never feel.

Cords are not good beef jerky- I’ll never get the fascination you humans have with those white and green strings you leave dangling from the walls and running all over the floor. I never see you bat them and they don’t go anywhere to be chased. What I do know is that one time I got gnawing on one and suddenly I couldn’t feel my lips for a month. Not a cool feature when you share water bowls with friends. Nobody wants the drooling guy slurping next to them. So I guess the best advice I can give on this subject is to watch out for us and keep reminding us that numb lips are nobody’s friend.

Not all plants belong in salad or cole slaw- That’s right because some are just downright deadly. And while I am always amazed by the talents and skills evolution has graced my species with, we are not blessed with a great deal of knowledge in botany.  And I believe I speak for all cats when I say that we probably wouldn’t bother to read a posted note, so help us out and keep the poisonous plants out of the house. There are so many other ways to create the magical outdoor world inside without including things that can take out a kitty.

Okay, so I got another bet paid off and I’m really happy to have put this one behind me. Oh- and let’s just say- I won’t be so quick to try putting 3 cheeseburgers in my mouth at one time again. So I hope my tips have been helpful and if they keep just one kitty safe this holiday season it will have been worth the embarrassment of shooting a pickle out of my nose.
Happy holidays, everyone!!!


Monday, October 13, 2014


Mwahahaha!!! Skunk the Cat here and this time my Tail from the Garage is a scary one!!!

After all, it is almost Halloween, the most wonderful time of year for a cat. Especially since this is our time to shine in the media. And not that most cats like to be the center of attention or anything but hey, who doesn't like a little bump in Twitter time or Instagram selfie marathons?

So here's to the magnificent creature that is the Halloween cat. Whether you be scaredy or mysterious, you have done more for this pawsome tradition than any reindeer ever did for that human in the red suit. And we don't tear up your roof shingles like a certain other breed of a holiday symbol.

But I would be letting down my human fan base if I didn't throw out a couple of reminders about how to keep your cats safe as they walk the walk of their bad Halloween selves. Because with media exposure comes myths and unholy tales that need to be dealt with. So here it goes:

1. Cats (gulp) need to be inside all year long (yup- I still choke on these words). But it gets even more important during Halloween. People who don't respect us think it's really funny to pull pranks on us or worse even, use us for props in ridiculous holiday tricks they do to others. And some of these tricks can even involve fire sometimes, so you get why this is important. But no worries, we still strike some pretty haunting poses silhouetted in moonlit windows. So everyone will still know you're rocking' the pawthentic holiday feel in your casa.

2. No matter how much we beg, plead or cat-jole DON'T GIVE US CANDY. We're not as sensitive to chocolate as dogs are. But hey, let's face it, they are a much more delicate species. But we still shouldn't eat human food. And when you think about it even humans shouldn't eat too much. So imagine how much less our smaller stomachs can handle. It's just best to keep it out of our reach. The good news though, is we won't fight as hard for candy as we will for...

3. Delicious Halloween decorations! Oh I can see them now! Swingy, string tethered delights all right there in every window for us to bat and whip around! Sa-weet!!!! But then bad things happen when they get caught in our tails or around our necks or sometimes even more likely, we get to gnawing a bit and we swallow more than we should. Bad kitty and bad trips to that place where they like to pick up your tail and check out things that are, quite frankly, nobody's business. Yikes!!! So while the other cats might frown on me sharing this- sometimes we need to be protected from our own delightful imaginations and the games they lead us into. Help us strike a pose a safe distance away from these tail tanglers.

And finally I want to send a special alert out for all my cat buddies like Scrappy who are all black. Black cats have a really bad rap as somehow they get blamed for all the world's bad luck. Not cool, dudes. Not cool at all. Cats are amazing and we add a certain je ne sais quoi to everywhere we live. Black cats are no different and have no evil powers. But somehow these myths get rolling and it's the black cats who really take the heat for it. So protect all your felines but especially look out for your all black ones. They definitely have a target on their back during this season.

"So hey, Skunk," you might now be asking, "what was so scary about this Tail from the Garage?" Fair question. But to answer I only have to point your attention to the picture above. Did you not see the spider dangling in the top corner? And while a spider sighting alone is enough to make a cat shudder on all four paws, I asked around Feline Friends to see if anyone else had ever seen that spider in the garage before. And they did, everyone of them. But the crazy thing is, they all had a story about how they had smacked that spider with a shoe and other heavy anti-spider objects. So I ask you, if that spider was long since gone from the garage, how did it get in the picture I took last Wednesday? That's right- it's a spider ghost! So you tell me, have you ever heard of anything so scary? Now imagine all the spiders you ever squished showing up in your next family photo as ghastly images hanging around your faces and square dancing in all your hair. Uh you're scared!!! My work here is done.

This is Skunk the Cat signing off to go spider ghost hunting. Happy Halloween, humans!!!




Okay...yeah...I lost a bet. But I have a perfectly reasonable excuse. That's right- I was duped! Because here's how it played out. I was chillaxin in my bed while Alanna was very busy organizing food and searching for Christmas decorations in the garage. She will argue this with me- but she fell over while reaching for a box of blinky lights. She did. She tipped right over. But she denies it and claims some heroic act of grabbing cat litter boxes kept her from actually touching the floor. Whatever. This of course made me laugh. I find it absolutely hilarious that you humans have no sense of balance whatsoever. It's true- I can see why you stay out of trees. 

Any hoo- turns out humans are super sensitive about this point and when I laughed it really set Alanna off. Right away she brings up the whole "so?- you got no thumbs, Skunk!" Like that even matters in this discussion. Dudes, it's not relevant- at all. Well one thing led to another and the next thing you know we got into this "proving our evolutionary accomplishments" contest. 

First up was a foot race. Four paws to two I had her beat at the tweet of the starter's whistle. I'm that fast- oh yeah. And I really dig the sound of a tweet. It motivates me.

Next we sat at our respective desks and raced words per minute. As a professional blogger, I felt strong going into the battle. And for a laid back guy, I really am a fast typer. Unfortunately, I ended up shocked. I knew Alanna did some office work sometimes but I had no idea how much practice she had pounding on the keyboard. But whoa- she totally dusted me. 

That left us tied at one evolutionary accomplishment a piece. So we spitballed ideas for the tie breaker. It was not easy to agree on a fair test. She said swim a mile. I said jump off the garage roof. It went back and forth awhile. And then she blurted out, "I know- a sit up contest!" I was immediately interested. I had heard of sit ups before and knew dogs were famous for them. And yo, if a dog can sit up once then a cat can sit up way more times- and with more style. I was in!

So it's possible that you've already figured out where I went wrong. Yeah. Not that kind of sit up. I only had to see her do one to know I had been hosed. There's no way I would have agreed to do that. Next thing I know, this holly-jolly get-up is picked out of a box and becomes my holiday blog suit. Oh the evil little sense of humor that Alanna has. But if there's one fact that we cats prove holiday after holiday it's this- you can dress us up in antlers and hats and silly red noses but you can not break the spirit of the dignified cat!

So what crazy get-ups are your cats humoring you and wearing this holiday season?

Four Paws in Peace


Thursday, September 18, 2014


Yo, Skunk the Cat here. Sorry I haven’t been around so much but you know how it is. A box of super crunchy fishy treats and a Netflix binge- next thing you know, it’s September.  


Anyways, it occurred to me that I owe you guys some info. I’ve been promising for awhile to sit down at the screen and scratch out all the good reasons I’ve come to know for keeping my furry butt indoors and not out roaming the great outdoors. So here’s my list:

1. ummmmm

  just's what I've really learned and would like to share with my peeps!!!

1. Okay. So reason #1 is easy because of what time of year it is. From what I've seen, humans control the weather much better from the inside of a house. Once that weather hits the great outdoors, it's wild and uncontrollable. So from my experience, staying inside where they make the good heat in the winter and the good chilly air in the summer is where a smart cat hangs. Oh, and unless something goes horribly wrong, there is way less of the wet stuff inside. And we all know how much we cats hate the wet stuff anywhere near our fur or paws.
2. We are less delicious inside the house. Make no mistake, I am a cat of experience. I have lived a lot of crazy places. But the only place I've lived where the other creatures didn't constantly eyeball me like a tasty SuperBowl snack, was in the house. I can say a lot about how Alanna yells at me but she's never sized me up with a bottle of BBQ sauce in her hand. And I know she's very fond of BBQ sauce.

3. Sometimes other animals don't want to eat you, they just want to kick your butt and take your stuff. That includes raccoons that eat your food. Other cats that want to sleep on whatever stupid bed you made for the night. Or the mean two legged kind who'll do anything to push you around and have a good laugh doing it. And that brings me to:

4. Humans behave better in the house. Because just like the weather, sometimes when they get on the other side of the door something takes over them and they don't behave well at all. I've seen others of my kind living out of the house who've been burned, kicked, and well, a lot of other really bad things that a cat just shouldn't have to live through. And yes sadly, sometimes they don't live through it. So let Alanna dress me in funny clothes and not let me eat an entire box of super crunchy fishy treats in one sitting. She's still pretty chill on the important things and sometimes it even feels like she might even be looking out for me. 

5. You can trust the cat food in the house. This might sound like a small thing but I've seen cats eat stuff that seemed quite delicious  at the time and then BAM- without any other reason they got sick or (gulp) WORSE. But the food in the house never lets me down.

6. This reason is very near and dear to my heart. A cat can get really sick or injured outside of the house. And I know what you're thinking. Cats can get sick or injured inside too. But Dude, I'm telling you, it's way easier outside the house. There are just so many sharp things and pokey stuff and holes in the ground you never see coming. And then this can happen too. A cat I met on the road told me about getting to the outside only to get stuck in some other inside where he had never been before and then he couldn't get back out and then he got so hungry he thought something really bad was going to happen. He was so grateful for the human who found him even though the human yelled at him and threw a shoe at his head. Trust me, that's nothing to be grateful for. But like he said, "Free is free."

And if you're wondering why #6 means more to me it's because I got hurt outside the house. And I can't even tell you how because I was so tired and hungry I can't even say for sure what happened to me. I might have gotten poked by a sharp thing or chomped on by a hungry foe. I just don't know. But what made it worse was that whatever happened to me, nobody was there to notice. So nobody was there to take care of me. And I kept getting sicker and sicker and pretty soon my paw didn't work so well. Still doesn't. The only thing that saved me was being brought to the great folks at Feline Friends. Just think, if that hadn't happened, I probably wouldn't be here and you'd miss out on all my wisdom and prose. 
aren't ya glad that didn't happen?

me too!

So humans tell your kitties and kitties, listen to your humans: In the house is where it's at, and that's where you should be!!! Now go get that chair. You know the one. The one right next to the window where the sun shines just right and you can see your bowl out of the corner of your half closed eye and a human stops by on occasion to pat your head and tell you that you're a good kitty. Yeah. In the house is pretty cool.

So until later, Peeps, this is Skunk the Cat signing off for a nap!

Friday, February 14, 2014


Skunk the Cat here and I’m hoping you can give me just a second to catch my breath. And I know what you’re gonna say. “Come on, Skunk. It’s been awhile since we heard from you and we’ve been more than patient.”

And you have. And I am grateful. But there’s also a very good reason I’ve been MIA. 

It all started when I got that awesome box for Christmas. That put me into more of a “attempt to be pensive/sleep a whole lot more” mode. That box is just so darn awesome.

But then about 2 weeks into the New Year, Alanna comes stormin’ into the garage all out of breath. Now this is something I’ve grown use to. Especially when she’s coming into the garage right after she’s chased me down the driveway- ha ha ha.

This was different though. See she came barreling in and it was like she didn’t even see me. No pets, no love, not even an acknowledgment that my favorite ball and string toy were out of my reach- such a small thing, Alanna.

That wasn’t the worst of it though. The next day she came in for one reason and one reason only- to put me to work. It seems we’ve been REALLY short on help around here at the Sanctuary and I’ve been drafted to pitch in on the the chores.

I ask you- is this the face and paws of one who should do dishes?

So if there is anyway that you could help us out? Alanna asked me to share these awesome suggestions:

  • come to the Sanctuary and help with cat care- we cats are messy and sure do like to eat a lot

  • join our Raffle Committee- and the best part is you don’t even have to be local to do it- we need a lot of help searching for and applying for online corporate donations

  • help at one of our weekend donation drives- if you’re local to the Agawam, Ma area but only have a little time to share, join us for a Saturday morning/early afternoon donation drive at Dave’s Soda and Pet Food City. Or- host your own donation drive- yeah, that would be sooooo cool!

Pawtom line- we need your help! Especially me- because if I have to wash one more dish.....ahhhhhhh!!!

So if you're interested, please contact our righteous Volunteer Coordinator, Lisa Carney. She told me the best way to get ahold of her is email at comes Alanna now. She must want to tell me what a great job I've been doing around here. Sweet!!! 

Hey wait- what's that? A BROOM??? What??? No way- come on- Ughhhhh

So this is Skunk signing off- I guess I got more work to do. So until later-